I have fought the ways of structure and discipline for a long time. What you have been watching me do over the last few years, or not, is me trying to break the patterns and behaviors which have bonded me to a life of anxiety ridden uncertainty of the unknown. Yes, with structure and rituals there is still the unknown. And yes, it is important to be able to go with the flow when life happens as it does, but it is with the structures and rituals we build for ourselves that will help us flow that much easier when things do not go according to plan.
I very recently began taking private dance lessons this week with a friend, Founder of Sass-n-Strust, Serese Brown. Who I have watched grow into this empowered, dedicated woman. She has become, in my eyes, this movement mentor for other women to feel empowered in their own bodies through authentic movement and dance.
I needed this in my life. I WANT this in my life.
She asked me to dance to a song of my choice while she observed what came naturally to my body. To see how the song compelled me to move through it.
Whoa. What? My experience with dancing had always been accompanied by some sort of substance that freed me from my own and other's judgements and allowed me to be lost in the movement of my body. But today that was not the case. Instead I had to connect to the music, to feel within my body and soul, and respond to the music with my own authentic (SOBER) movement.
Let me say, this was a truly vulnerable state of being, only her and I standing in front of this mirror.
We did this over and over again. She would offer suggestions or show me a few technical moves to help organize and grow from where I was in that moment. She met me where I was and offered me a level of support I didn't even know I needed.
When we finished up and sat to chat about where we wanted to go from here, I expressed my want to be free in my body creatively, but that I realized I also craved a little more structure. To learn technical movement that worked for my body, but then be able to expand and grow that movement into my own.
In that moment, I realized that not only did I need structure, but that I wanted it. I have slowly over the years, been creating small rituals for myself and my clients. I always talked about the foundation we need for us to operate from an internal place into the external world.
Though I have several practices that I lean on, I realized I still did not have the discipline or consistency behind these supportive tools. I have been living in a way of just waking up and seeing how I felt, then allowing my intuition to guide me through my choices. Now I don't want to stop trusting my intuition and only care about my routine, but instead I want to add rituals that offer a sturdy foundation for me to stand on while I follow my intuition daily. These will help keep me in alignment so that I can just flow.
I speak of being in the flow, which for me is when I am able to move with the path I am on organically and with intention. Whether it is meditating, a form of movement, any activity that you do daily that brings you back to your body, this is what we need to create the life we seek.
By adding these nurturing structures and self care acts, we are saying with intention every day that we support ourselves to the fullest. That we want to be in the best form and come from a place of love and compassion with every choice that we make every day.
I suggest starting small. We are creating something that will call for your discipline in tougher times. Starting small helps to slowly move to this new space without overwhelming oneself. If you are unsure of where to start when creating and adding this foundational work to your life, please don't hesitate to reach out.
Much Love -